Lost
by a7xobssessedfan
Summary: Cody Johnson is a male model who has come from sunny California because of his agency. He has a few dark secrets that he doesn't share with zanybody. That is until he meets Riley, who gets him out of his shell. RileyxOC Slash
1. Chapter 1

**I've decided I want to try a Degrassi fanfiction with Riley not ending up with Peter. I don't like Peter at all. Sorry to the Peter lovers. This will be slash so if you don't like it, why are you even reading anything with Riley in it. He's gay. Anyway I do not own anyone from Degrassi. I just own Cody, (he's my favorite of all my characters cause he's so innocent!), and Johnny. Oh and Cody's manager, (least favorite, You'll see why!). Anyway here it is. **

"Go back to where you came from."

"We don't need you here."

"Go die, faggot."

Those were the main things I'd gotten on my first day of Degrassi. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? Sure I was different, but it gave them no right to make fun of me. All that just because I was gay and okay with it. I didn't even have to tell them. I guess my clothes gave it away. I had on a black shirt, with flowing long sleeves. That and black skinny jeans. The other words I got that weren't from homophobic guys…

"You're so cute."

"Can I get your autograph?"

"How do you manage your job and school at the same time?"

I was also a teenage model. Cody Johnson. I hated being a model too. It took up all my free time and my boss didn't treat me right. Abusive ass. I didn't mind the attention; it was just something I learned to endure. Plus, on my first day, I saw the hottest boy at Degrassi High. Riley Stavros. Unfortunately, he was one of the homophobic guys. I met him after school when he tripped me.

"Maybe you should watch where you're going, fag," he said, glaring down at me with his baby blue eyes. His hair was short and blonde and at that point was covered with a hat. I ignored him, got up, and ran to the bathroom. When I knew I was alone, I let loose. I cried knowing that I wouldn't be accepted in this school either. Then I did the only thing I knew how to do. I cut. When the blood stopped, I ran it under the faucet and then covered my wrists back up with my shirt. When I walked back out, Riley was still standing there. He watched me as I walked past him. I stopped and looked at him. I knew my eyeliner had smeared and that I looked like a wreck, but I didn't care.

"Did you want to tease me more? I'm sure you have a field day with it," I snapped. He looked at me with a sad look.

"No. I don't want to make fun of you. Can I not just stand here?" he snapped. I shrugged and began to walk off. I didn't get far because two guys came up behind me and grabbed me. One of them I knew as Derek and the other I didn't know at all.

"You have no right to talk to him that way, fag. You're nothing at this school, you got it?" Derek asked. I somehow managed to pull away and I swung at him. My fist connected with his jaw. The other guy pinned me down and started to punch me. He got pulled off after a bit. When I looked up, I saw Riley.

"Don't you remember what happened to the last kid that you did this to?" he asked. Derek got up and looked down at me. I was still on the ground. Without a word, they walked away. Riley looked at me a little more, but soon followed. I stood up and then ran to my job.

We had a slow day, but I was grateful for that. It delayed what I knew was coming. I couldn't avoid it all night. When I was done, my boss took me with him and we went to his private area. I'm not going into detail, but he chained me to the bed in there and then did his business. I really hated that part. When he was done, he got up and got dressed. I was still chained to the bed.

"Please let me up. I have school tomorrow," I said, sitting up. That was about the only thing I could do. He laughed and kissed me. I hated that.

"You know you don't have to go to school. You have a job, you have me, what else do you need it for?" he asked. I looked down. As much as I hated it, he was right. There really wasn't a reason for me to go to school. With a smile, he sat down and ran his hands over my chest. I wanted so badly to flinch away. He began to kiss my neck and I closed my eyes and pretended I was somewhere else.

He kept me chained to that bed for a week. The last day, I got to go home. When I walked into my apartment, my roommate, Johnny, ran in. I had on a baggy black jacket and baggy pants. It was the only thing that I could find that hid my body well. He noticed. His bright green eyes held mine and he shook his head, making his light brown hair bounce.

"Why didn't you call me? That was the whole reason I bought you that cell phone was so you could call and tell me that he was torturing you," he said. I looked at him dully. My sky gray eyes were clouded with tears and my own brown hair was stringy and greasy, due to no shower.

"I don't know. Just let me go and take a shower please. I don't want to talk this way," I said and walked upstairs. I spent almost an hour in the shower, not wanting to come out. I got out after a bit, realizing I had to face him. I went downstairs and went to sit down in the kitchen with Johnny. He put hot chocolate down in front of me and sat across from me.

"You feel better?" he asked. I nodded a little. "I'm so sorry. I should have figured after you didn't come home for a few days. I just didn't think."

"I'm ok. Plus it kept me out of school for a little bit," I said. Johnny scooted closer to me.

"Did it not go to good, hun?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Not really. It sucked. I hate it and never want to go back," I said. Johnny chuckled.

"It'll get better. Besides I'm not letting you drop out," he said. I rolled my eyes.

"I know," I said. He acted to much like an older brother to let me drop out. I sighed and he looked over at me.

"Go ahead and go to bed. I bet you got no sleep over there. You need it," Johnny said. I nodded and went upstairs to my room. It wasn't really anything and boxes covered the floor since I hadn't been home to unpack them. I sighed and curled into my bed. It had been too long. I curled up into a ball around my pillow and went to sleep.

The next day at school, I had people give me weird looks. Everyone knew that I hadn't shown up for awhile, so rumors spread around the school. Riley came up to me at lunch and tapped me on the shoulder. I flinched and turned.

"Follow me," he said softly. I nodded and followed him outside. When we were outside, he walked over to a tree. I watched him study me. That day I had chosen a long sleeved black shirt and baggy black jeans. I tensed up a little.

"Was there a point to you bringing me out here?" I asked. He looked back up at my face.

"You remind me of some one," he said softly. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm a male model. Everyone here has heard of me and my sexuality," I snapped. He shook his head.

"No. I had a… friend that looked exactly like you," he said. I rolled my eyes again.

"Whatever. Look, I don't know you. Just let me go," I said and pushed passed him. He grabbed my arm, making me hiss in pain. Not only did my most recent cuts hurt me, but the chain marks were starting to bother me too.

"Cody please wait. Just hear me out. Meet me after school at this same place. Please. I want to hear why you weren't here for myself instead of listening to the rumors," he said. Why did he care? When he let go, I walked off. I had too much to think about.

**Ok so I got that done. I hope you liked it! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chp. 2. I hope you all liked the first one. Now you see why I don't like Cody's manager. Fortunately he isn't in this chapter. Yay! Anyway this one is shorter because I don't want romance until at least chapter 3. Thank you for the reviews! **

I thought most of that day and at the end of it, I decided to meet up with Riley. It was my day off, (thank god), so I really didn't have anything else to do. He was standing against the tree outside, where he'd led me to in the first place. His blue eyes caught mine for a second and then I looked away.

"Here follow me," he said. I followed him into the woods behind the school and he stopped somewhere in the middle of it. He motioned for me to sit down, but I shook my head. There was no way I was going to sit down in the middle of the woods with a person I only knew the name to. Even though he was sexy… No. Still not sitting down.

"I'm not so sure about that. We're out in the middle of the woods with no one around. You might… rape me." I said the last two words slowly. He noticed and shrugged. He wasn't going to push. Good.

"It's okay. I understand. So why weren't you here?" he asked. I paused to think of a good lie.

"I was sick," I lied. He nodded slowly. He didn't believe me.

"Lift up your sleeve," he said. I looked at him with confusion. "Cody, please lift up your sleeve." I shook my head and ran. I ran until I got to the school and then went back inside. There wasn't anyone in there… I ran until I came to a memorial for two people. I looked at the names. JT York was one and Jonathon Sinclair was another. Jonathon looked almost exactly like me… I heard Riley come up behind me.

"Who is this?" I asked, once my eyes landed on a picture of Riley and Jonathon. Riley had his arms wrapped around Jonathon's chest and Jonathon was giving him a confused look. They were both happy.

"Jonathon. He's the one I thought you looked like," he said. I shook my head.

"No. What was he to you?" I asked. He came up and stood beside me.

"He was… My boyfriend at a time," he replied. I glared at him.

"If he was your boyfriend then why were you being a fucking asshole to me? We're both in the same boat. It's not-"He covered my mouth with his hand, making me tense and squirm. When he let go, I moved as far away from him as I could. He noticed he'd scared me.

"Lift up your sleeve. Jonathon used to cut himself and I'm almost positive you do too. Please Cody," he said. I tried to move away from him, but he caught me around the waist. "Cody…" When he let me go, I turned to face him. I lifted up both of my sleeves, not only revealing my cuts, but the chain marks too. I watched his eyes widen.

"This is what it takes to be a model. I have to suffer whatever my boss wants me to suffer through," I yelled. Riley looked up at me.

"Then why did you join?" he asked. I scoffed.

"I had no choice. My parents sold me to them. They didn't want a gay son," I said softly. Riley sighed.

"Is there no way of getting out of it?" he asked. I shook my head.

"No. I can't get out of it. Everyone knows I want to," I replied. He let out a sigh.

"Cody, I'm sorry," he said. This time when he tried to reach out for me, I moved away. I did not want him to touch me.

"Riley, stop. I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow," I said and walked away.

When I got home, Johnny rushed in to see me. When he saw my troubled face, I watched him frown. He was like an older brother to me so he knew when there was something wrong.

"What happened?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing. I'm okay," I replied, Then I added," I have homework I have to do. I'll be in my room if you need me," I said. He nodded and then I went upstairs. I needed some alone time.

**Thank you for reading. Now click on the green sign that says review!**


	3. Chapter 3

After two weeks, Riley caught up with me at lunch again. When he tried to talk to me, I tried to ignore him. That was the whole point of this was because I was still trying not to be noticed. It was a little hard being a model. The only other person that talked to me was a girl named Jane and that was when I was in the mood to talk. The day Riley came up to me was not one of those days.

"Cody, please talk to me. You're not going to spend school like this. At least talk to me," he said. I shook my head. I didn't want to talk to anyone… Riley didn't care. Instead he caught me around the waist. Good place too. I didn't have a bruise or anything there. Instead, it just startled me. When he let me go, I turned around.

"Leave me alone. Please Riley. You need to stop," I begged. Instead of listening to me, he shook his head.

"I can't. I need to talk to you. I really don't know what to do to help you. You won't talk to me," he said. I growled at him. I wasn't going to let him help me. He didn't need to get into this. It was my business and my business alone.

"Just leave me alone," I said. He sighed.

"I'm not going to leave you alone until you talk to me," he replied. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine," I said. He took my arm and dragged me into the woods behind the school again and he made me stand in front of him so I didn't get away. I just stared at him.

"I'm trying to help you Cody. Stop being so stubborn. I need you to listen to me. I… I like you. You remind me so much of Jonathon and I see the same self destruction that he went through go through you. Please Cody let me help," he said. I shook my head. I couldn't let him get involved…

"Please stop. My boss will kill you. Please," I begged. He didn't show any sign that he'd heard me.

"No. Not until you're out of that situation. Trust me when I say you are too much like Jonathon. Please… You need my help and you know it," he said. As much as I hated to admit it, I really did need his help.

"Riley… I like you too, but I can't allow you to help me. Just please don't worry about me," I said. When I looked up at him, his lips crashed down harshly on mine. I responded, although I shouldn't have. He was the one to pull away.

"Sorry. I couldn't resist," he replied. I smiled. I didn't care. I really liked him.

"It's ok. I didn't think that you would like me. You still have to understand that I can't put you in this situation. If my boss finds out that I'm with some one else other than him, there's going to be hell to pay. I'm so sorry," I replied. Riley moved around me and sat against the tree, patting the space next to him. I sat down and he laid his head on mine.

"Then we'll keep it a secret. I'm still not out. I think we can do that, don't you?" he asked. I looked over at him. Was this the same guy practically begging me to let him help?

"I guess. Does that mean you've given up?" I asked. He laughed and shook his head.

"No. I'm still going to help. I'm just going to think first," he replied. I sighed. I couldn't stop him, but at least he was going to think it through first.

"Fine. Just please be careful," I said. He nodded and reached behind his neck. He unclasped the necklace resting there and handed it to me.

"Here. This is yours as long as we're dating. I want you to wear it in order to show me that you're mine. As long as you're wearing this, I'll know that you don't mind us dating," he said. I took it and smiled.

"Thanks," I said. He smiled and took it back from me. When I gave him a confused look, he laughed.

"At least let me put it on you," he said. I smiled at him. That surprised me. I never smiled that much and Riley had made me smile three times in a row. He put it around my neck and then he smiled.

"There you go. Please keep it on for as long as you can," he said. I touched it softly and sighed. I actually had a boyfriend and I wasn't planning on letting him go anytime soon.

"Thanks. I really should be going home soon… My roommate's going to be looking for me," I replied. He stood up and helped me up. Once I was standing, he kissed my lips softly.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Bye," he said. I almost fell back.

"Bye," I replied softly and walked off. I had a lot to talk to both Johnny and my best friend, Dimitri about.

"His name is Riley and he's super cute," I told Dimitri. I heard him laugh on the other line of the phone.

"So you finally have a boyfriend, eh?" he asked. I nodded but remembered he couldn't see me.

"After years and years of waiting. I just have to find time to have a life. My boss isn't going to let me have any time off," I replied. I heard Dimitri's sigh. Dimitri was the only other person that knew what went on between my boss and me. Not only was Riley super hot, but so was Dimitri. I knew he had hard things to deal with too. One being his regular pill schedule.

When Dimitri was in the 8th grade, he tried overdosing on pain pills, which caused him to have to take them everyday to keep him from dying. It was funny how he had to now live off the very thing that he had used to try to die. I could understand why he wanted to though. He wasn't the only one who plotted suicide. He had kept me from it one too many times, leading him to become my best friend. He was the closet person to me, besides Johnny.

"Does that mean that you'll socialize more?" he asked.

"I don't know… Maybe. It's just I don't know any of the other freshman and I feel so out of place," I said.

"Try and make friends with the other freshman. You'll feel a lot better with friends," Dimitri replied. I sighed.

"I'll try," I said. I bet he smiled.

"Good. Hey I gotta go. We have a gig tonight and I have to get ready," he said. That was the only downside to Dimitri being a professional person in a band.

"Okay. Sing and play good," I said. I heard him laugh.

"I will. You go practice your singing and guitar playing," he said. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine. I'll talk to you later. Bye," I said.

"See ya."

* * *

**Sorry that I took so long. I've been bsy with other things and I forgot about poor Cody. Dimitri is my favorite out of all my characters and you get to learn about his and Cody's relationship more in future chapters. Plus you see how he knows Cody and everything. I'll update as soon as I can.  
**


	4. Chapter 4

The next day was my Saturday off day. I woke up that morning and then grinned. I had gotten a boyfriend who was super cute the day before. Once I was showered and ready, the doorbell rang. I ran downstairs and quickly opened it. Standing there was Riley.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, with a smile. He returned the smile.

"I might have followed you here last night to see where you lived. I had to see you. I missed you already," he said. I smiled again and pulled his arm. We went upstairs to my room and sat down.

"It's a little messy," I said, with a slight blush on my face. Riley looked around.

"It doesn't matter. It's actually really nice. What's that?" he asked, looking over in the small corner with my guitar. I walked over to it and pulled it out. It was a light brown acoustic with gold strings. Dimitri had given it to me for my birthday.

"My guitar," I replied

"Can you play me a song?" he asked. I bit my lip. There was only one song I knew and it was the only one I had written.

"I don't know…"

"Please," he begged. I sighed and sat on the bed next to him. I didn't really want to play him the only song I knew because it was the song that I had even bothered to learn…

"Okay… It's the only song I know how to play because I don't have time to learn anymore," I replied.

"That's okay. I want to hear it," he said. I sighed and started playing.

"_Time has run out for me_

_ Everything's different and I don't know what to believe_

_ It's so hard_

_ Lost in the world, confusion_

_ And I need to leave for awhile_

_ Life is so meaningless_

_ There is nothing worth a smile_

_ So goodbye I'll miss you_

_ And I'm sorry, but this is my fate_

_ Everything is worthless_

_ No one wants me to stay_

_ And I'm sorry but I've waited too long_

_ So here's my goodbye_

_ No one will cry over me_

_ I'm not worth any tears_

_ It's been the years, all the abuse_

_ Neglected the truth, a disorder that controls my youth_

_ For so long_

_ I'm in a flesh heap_

_ Too buried up off the ground_

_ It's no use_

_ Why should I hold on_

_ It's been five years don't need one more_

_ So goodbye, life's abuse_

_ And I'm sorry, but this is my fate_

_ Everything is worthless_

_ No one wants me to stay_

_ And I'm sorry but I've waited too long_

_ So here's my goodbye_

_ No one will cry over me_

_ I'm not worth any tears."_

I finished playing and looked up at Riley. He had an unreadable expression on his face. I touched his arm and got a reaction. When I looked into his eyes, I noticed that he had tears forming in them.

"Do you really feel like that?" he asked, removing the guitar from my hands. I nodded.

"Sometimes. It just depends on how bad things are going for me. I felt like that the other day. It sucks, but it's true," I said. I watched him set the guitar down and sigh.

"You shouldn't have to feel that way. No one should have to feel that way. It's just not normal," he said. I shrugged. It had always been normal for me to feel those feelings. I was used to it, he wasn't.

"I do feel like that, but it's just normal for me. You don't have to feel like that, but when you have a job like me that causes you to do things that no other sane person would do, then you start to feel like that. I do a job that no one else in my profession would want. I have to keep the boss happy and it hurts me every time I look at myself in the mirror. You have no idea what it's like to have to live with that," I said with tears pouring down my face. Riley reached over and hugged me. I knew that he probably hated this, but I couldn't help it. I had kept this bottled in for so long and I hated this. I hated everything about this.

"If you ever feel like that, you come and you tell me. Please Cody. I don't want you committing suicide. I really don't. If you did, I would hate myself for hearing this and then letting you go and do it. This is the exact same thing that Jonathon did. He committed suicide without me even knowing. I had to find out through the school talking about it and I couldn't do shit because no one even knew we were dating. I have to live with that guilt," he said. I really didn't know he felt like this. Now, Riley was sitting here in front of me, crying his eyes out.

"I'm sorry you have to live with that. It looks like I'm not the only one with skeletons in my closet. You have a few too. I'm sorry," I said. Riley shrugged He didn't seem to be listening too much. I sighed. After a bit, Riley left and I called Dimitri.

"Riley has things haunting him. I feel bad," I told him. Dimitri, who sounded like he lacked sleep, sighed.

"We all have a lot of things in our past that we don't want to face. You remember mine don't you?" he asked. I shuddered. His was bad. I won't go into detail, but he did things for his dad that no teenage boy should do. That's why as soon as he was offered a music contract; he took it in a blink of an eye. The things his dad made him do caused him to start being attracted to guys. I loved Dimitri like a brother.

I met Dimitri on one of my modeling tours in the U.S. His band was playing and he invited me to go. They're really good. In fact, they're my favorite band. Of course they do have two extremely sexy guys and a super sweet girl. The band is mainly Lily, Vladimir, and Dimitri. They're the main three and they switch drummers, guitarists, and other things. The three main ones take turns playing lead singer.

"I remember yours… I didn't mean to bring anything up," I replied. He gave a fake laugh.

"You didn't do anything. Look I gotta go. I'm running off three minutes of sleep," he said. I bit my lip. I probably woke him up…

"Kay. I'll call you later. Bye."

"Practice your guitar! Bye." Then he hung up, leaving me to deal with my own demons.

* * *

**Lol. I updated sooner than I thought. You get to see a bit more about Dimitri. He's my best character besides Cody.  
**


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